This is something that I've joked about for a while, seriously considered for the past week or two, and repeatedly reconsidered over the past handful of days. I can no longer play Ianto. It's not because his voice isn't there - I am sure he will always be kicking around inside my head, making pithy comments - but over the past eleven months, there's been Life Event after Life Event that has prevented me from tagging regularly or being able to focus on RP. During that time, whatever intangible spark that kept Ianto alive went out. I refused to admit it and tried my hardest to keep going but it's gotten to the point where I no longer know what to do with him. I still have things I want him to do, but realistically I know they will never happen. It pains me to do so after all this time - I started playing him not long I turned 19 and now, just shy of my 26th birthday, I am throwing in the tea towel. This is very strange and sad for me because as a direct result of me deciding to play him, I met new people and made new friends. I dated some of those friends. One of those friends moved up from Arkansas and now we live together, and she is engaged to one of the other friends. Everything hugely formative about these past seven years of my life came from me playing Ianto. It is bittersweet for me to let go of him, like I am finally letting go of those growing pain years and acknowledging I am moving onto a different part of my life.
I apologize for being so sentimental. Very few of you have spent that long with me and this character, so it doesn't mean as much to you. It was more important for me to write this than it is that you read it.
This post is also about a little event. I can't return Ianto to his home. I mean, I could. I could ask the mods, and they would probably say yes. But I think Ianto has been through enough. He's been living on borrowed time. He made it to 30 years old, and I think that's all he really wanted to do. So he has to die. But he's going to die happy. Deliriously happy. He is going to be so happy that it kills him. Remember those sadness vampires I wanted to do? Yeah. I can't think of a better feeding ground for them than a funeral. Your character doesn't have to attend if you don't want them to - he didn't have many friends in Manhattan - but if they do, then they get to fight sadness vampires. I'm just saying. I'll be putting up a post relatively soon to kill Ianto off, and sometime after that someone??? will put up a post for the sadness vampire event. It will be a structured post, somewhat like this party
back at my old game, with specific events occuring in top-level comments. The format is sort of hard to follow while reading it after the fact, but it worked in real-time. And it won't be that intense. That's just sort of an example of like, little satellite threads happening with smaller incidents, and then at some point everything comes to a head under a new top-level. It'll be like that.
I forget if there was more I was supposed to explain. I'm gonna be keeping Greg and I guess dropping Croach, I forgot I played Croach tbh. So I'm still gonna be here. Maybe I'll drop Greg and app someone entirely new? I DON'T KNOW. I'll figure it out. This is just the first step. So raise your hand if you want to find Ianto's corpse.